Above Water

I’m not really in the mood to write.

I’m making deadlines yet still really behind in my schoolwork. Hopefully this week I will make up for it and get my head above academic water. I’m happy to be home but a part of me wishes I stayed back at school to get more done.

Well that’s all I’ve got to say today. I’m still adjusting to the hour lost due to Daylight Savings. How was everyone’s weekend?

I appreciate all of you who follow this blog but I do miss your comments.

Is there anything you’d like me to update you on? Or anything you’d like to discuss?

Since I’m lacking in ideas and inspiration, I should turn to you all who may or may not read this so your reading is not in vain.

- Sasha, the uninspired student/blogger

A Season to Strive for Independence

Things are moving in a forward motion with regards to my business so far. I haven’t generated any income yet but I just finished my first week. The work I’m doing is really coming naturally. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve taken a newer/wiser approach to entrepreneurship this time around or if I actually found something that works with my personality and passions. Nonetheless, I am having fun so far and think this may be the opportunity I have been praying for. I’m glad I’ve taken this leap. Plus, I realize even if things don’t go the way I hope, it’s all a learning process. Though I really want it work.

I’m not sure if I am more conscious of it or what but it seems like a lot of my peers and friends have also been bitten by the entrepreneurial bug. One friend stepped away from her cushy job in finance to start her own career in public relations. Some others are in makeup artistry selling makeup and skin care products. Others are affiliated with larger entities that sell a wide variety of products.

When I started my first business a few years ago, I was one of few of my peers stepping out and going into business for themselves in hopes of one day living independent lives on their own terms. It seems like more people are hip to the benefits of owning a business and gaining more freedom with their time or finances.

It’s motivating for me to see my peers striving for independence and following their dreams. It encourages me to continue to follow mine.

- Sasha, the entrepreneur

Disadvantaged Advantage

Having an older brother is one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given.

My big bro has been my protector, playmate, and one who I can reminisce about things only we know. We have our own inside jokes and quirky sense of humor. As a child we bickered a lot about what we’d watch on TV and read me bedtime stories when our parents were too tired from long days at work or when I was sick. He made me somewhat of a tomboy because I had to know how to hang with the guys if I wanted to hang out with him. So I played with dolls and did their hair, but I also knew how to play the Street Fighter video games, or watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I admired his artistic abilities and looked up to him as a younger hero with my dad coming in first place.

But he also taught me a lot about relationships and how men think. A blessing and a curse, as I often refer to it. It’s helped prevent me from falling for some of the lines my friends fell for. It helped me pick up on certain behaviors and basically allowed me to see through a lot of bullshit some guys would try to feed me. It worked for some women who reveled in male attention in whatever form it came, yet I knew I always wanted more. I watched my older brother go through various relationship situations. Unfortunately I’ve seen him cheat on a few of them. I understood why he did some of the things he did (some of which as a result of his own broken heart) and it kept my eyes open to some of the signs I’d noticed in guys I’ve dated before I got in too deep.

However I say it’s a curse because since I know how some guys think, it won’t allow me to walk into romantic situations as naïve and open as I should be or would like to be.

I’ve seen both the darker and some of the most brightest sides of love in watching how he treated he girlfriends and his current wife-to-be. I love him for what he’s taught me, but hate that I’ve taken so much of the good, bad, and ugly in.

- Sasha, the “one of the guys” kind of girl

Feeling It

I have gotten so much support lately from some unexpected and unlikely sources.

Today a girl at school that I am acquaintances with (I haven’t gotten to know her well enough yet to call her a friend) brought home-baked cookies to school for me with a card attached to show her condolences for my grandfather. I was surprised by Jalil when I met up with him in NYC and he had a bouquet of a dozen white roses for my mother who he’s never even met (until later that day when she met and thanked him in person). Then I felt incredibly guilty that I did not get him anything for his grandfather who died a few days after mine. My study partner gave me a “sorry for your loss” card yesterday. The other day in school when I was trying to encourage a fellow grad student just starting out, I bumped into a mentor of mine (he’s highly respected at school and on top of his game) who spoke very highly of me out of the blue.

I’m not sure that I am deserving of all of this favor, and I can’t explain the outpour of love, support and positive energy, or the small gifts (especially when I have been too busy and frugal to be as much of a gift giver as I would like). Nonetheless, I am grateful and I am humbled. I am feeling the love.

- Sasha, the beloved

Devotional, etc.

I’m catching up on a daily devotional I’ve gotten behind with. It seems like rather than being “late,” this message is right on time. Everything school relayed is temporarily on the back-burner until my arrangements for getting home to my family are in order, yet I’m reminded of one my most encouraging and favorite Bible passages, Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Here’s the devotional by Joyce Meyer:

Through Christ Who Strengthens You

Philippians 4:13 is a very popular scripture that is often quoted out of context. It says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That doesn’t mean you can just do anything you decide to do because you want to do it. Paul was talking specifically about how he was able, through the power of Christ, to be content no matter what his circumstances were.

I do believe that, by God’s grace, we can do whatever we need to do in life. I think that’s a mindset we need to have. There’s nothing that’s too much for you if you’re trusting God. You can handle whatever comes your way because God promises that He’ll never put more on us than we can bear and deal with.

So keep a positive attitude no matter where you are right now, no matter what’s going on in your life. Cheer up, God is on your side. Stop being upset about things you can’t do anything about.

God wants you to know that He has an individual plan for your life, and He wants you to accept His unique plan for you and not compare your plan with anybody else’s. You have to trust God knows more about what you need and what you can handle than you do. After all, He knows you better than you know yourself!

Prayer Starter: Lord, like Paul, I want my contentment to come from You, not my circumstances. Show me every day that Your plan for me is perfect and that I don’t need to worry.

On another note, I also found a great blog entry (my new favorite) on the topic of singleness. It puts what friends and family have said as encouragement in a less cliché way. The next time I start feeling down about being single and never knowing what romance feels like I will read this:

You’re single because you’re single. It’s not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It’s not because you met up with your ex that night at 5 a.m. that no one knows about, or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser.

You’re not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the the movie theatre. You’re not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It’s not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you’re happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you.

You’re not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You’re not single because half the world found out when you didn’t even want to remember it yourself. You’re not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It’s not because you’re not willing to put up with someone who doesn’t brush their teeth on a regular basis.

You’re not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It’s not because you didn’t like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren’t feeling it. And it’s not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You’re not single because you didn’t learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You’re not single because something is wrong with you.

You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now.

- Sasha, the encouraged